morbid children’s songs: baby bumblebee edition

I don’t get why children’s songs are so strangely morbid sometimes.

Chloe’s quite taken by a song called Baby Bumblebee right now. Catchy tune, but what weird lyrics it has (for a kid’s song).

It starts out fairly innocuously (although who the hell leaves a kid out to play where he/she would run into said insect):

I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee
Won’t my Mommy be surprised at me

Then it takes a strange, yet logical, turn for a children’s song:

I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee
Ouch, he stung me!

As I said, this is a very logical song, for the next stanza is pretty much what one would do when stung by a bumblebee:

I’m squishing up a baby bumblebee
Won’t my Mommy be surprised at me
I’m squishing up a baby bumblebee
Ooh! It’s yucky!

Now for the very malleable and formative young minds listening to this song, we’ve already established that it’s fine to play with bees and squish them when they sting you. Excellent, excellent job!

The last stanza delivers the clincher:

I’m wiping off the baby bumblebee
Won’t my mommy be so proud of me
I’m wiping off the baby bumblebee
Now my mommy won’t be mad at me!

Great. Mommy won’t be mad because you played with a bumblebee, got stung by it, and killed it. Why? Because you cleaned yourself up by yourself?

Mommy’s just going to be so proud of you, won’t she?

Another version of the song has the kid bringing home a baby snapping turtle (?), baby rattlesnake (WTF?!?) and a baby dinosaur (*speechless*), aside from the baby bumblebee. This one ends with the baby dinosaur eating up the kid by the end of the song.

Heh. S’what you get for playing with dinosaurs, kiddo!

Yet another version teaches the kid to taste the squished bumblebee after getting stung, then throwing up after tasting the squished bumblebee. At least the kid ends up cleaning his/her own mess by the song’s end.

And they say rap/rock/pop/[insert genre here] music is bad.

~ by dare on May 17, 2008.